Many parents are tired and overextended. It's understandable that the last thing they want to do is put forth the effort required to set up a proper environment and engage with their children, because they too are screen addicts.
We all struggle with this to some degree. There were no preparedness courses for living in this new cyber-ruled world. Yet now that we've all had some time to recover from the jolt, it is in our best interests to determine proper limits so that we can maintain connected real-life relationships, and good old-fashioned quality of life.
If you are a parent reading this, I hope it prompts you to consider my list of things your children COULD be doing if their eyes were not glued to an electronic device the majority of their living, breathing moments.
They could be...
-Gaining social skills- Our children need to learn how to communicate with and interact effectively with actual people. No matter how positive the content of your chosen programming, social skills are learned through direct time spent with other people, not electronic devices.
-Gaining academic skills- Many parents console themselves with the fact that most of what their children are watching is educational. Yet, the truth is that people of all ages learn more effectively by doing than by watching others. Watching others on TV or in real life can be a great catalyst for hands-on activities and application; yet for learning to be most efficient, time needs to be spent more on doing and less on viewing.
-Making decisions/ Directing their own play- Parents despise hearing the words "I'm bored." The reason they hear it so often is that children's time is being micromanaged all day long. Whether in daycare or in school, they have little choice of activity, and then when they come home, parents allow them to immerse themselves in electronic devices, further promoting kids' inability to direct their own activities.
For children to overcome their tendency to boredom, parents need to let them actually get bored and expect them to figure out (on their own) what they want to do next.
If they are not given regular opportunities to direct their activities as children, what kind of adults can we expect them to become?
-Learning conflict negotiation- I know parents who stick their kids in front of a TV in order to keep them from hurting each other.
When our kids or they and their friends are not getting along well, it is our responsibility to support and encourage them to effectively resolve their conflicts. Drowning out these issues with TV and video games is extremely detrimental to this process.
If we ignore their needs now, it is quite possible that they will struggle with these things in relationships throughout their lives.
-Playing outside- Most kids (and adults too) are sedentary throughout the majority of each day. The more time spent inside watching TV and playing video games, the fatter and lazier we become. Increased depression is another side effect of excessive time indoors.
Our kids need to exercise and breathe fresh air. They learn coordination and balance through climbing rocks and maneuvering natural obstacles. It makes them healthier, mentally as well as physically. No electronic device can ever take the place of that.
-Living a normal life- Remember that? Remember the days when there weren't millions of electronic options at your disposal at any given second? Remember when your "go to" place wasn't a website but rather an actual living, breathing person, a book, or a lawn chair on a starry night?
Shouldn't we want our children to have some of "the old kind of normal?"
Like most things in life, it is important that we find a balance between our electronic consumption and real-life experiences. As a mom of four home-schooled kids, I can tell you that it's doable and probably not as hard as you would think.
For your sake and that of your family, I encourage you to take on the challenge.
