Keeping the Main Thing...Main

It had been a good day, and a productive one. Having accomplished much, including feeding the kids well, unloading and unpacking from our beach week, completing all of my morning chores, teaching math to my three school-aged children and more, I was feeling nothing short of exhausted.

As I stood at the sink haggardly washing dishes and pondering dinner, I realized that I  might have done too much.

My husband was due home any moment, and rather than anticipating welcoming him with open arms, I was feeling more like falling into his, completely exhausted.

I sat down at the computer and logged into Facebook. (No one is ever too tired for that, right?) Just as I began to respond to a message, in he walked, carrying about ten grocery bags.

Though I might have felt like sitting there, I jumped up instead and started unpacking the groceries and putting everything away. That of course led to starting dinner, tidying up the house, putting away the laundry, and so on.

The surprising thing is that I didn't feel tired anymore.

Though I'm thankful for that, I realized that I can't expect such an energy surplus every day.

I was reminded of the fact that I might need to scale back my daily expectations, that I might need to DO a little less, so I can BE a little more for him in the evenings.

I really like feeling accomplished. I make "to do" lists, and the more items I check off, the more productive I feel.

Yet I am continually reminded that there is one person worthy of my best efforts whose name is usually not written on that paper.

There was a day, one that sometimes seems so long ago and far away, a day in which I promised to love and honor him above everyone else.

There were no stipulations involving kids, a messy house, school work, hobbies, or any type of leisure.

No guarantees were made that it would always feel good, or that he would return the favor either. Yet, I promised to do my part.

It has been deeply affirming to find that the more I stretch myself to honor him, the more I find him doing the same for me.

As for that list, maybe I should start writing his name right in the center of it as a visual reminder that if I don't prioritize my relationship with him above the details, then the rest will cease to exist.

Family Party

I used to be the wife who woke up every Saturday with a "to-do list" longer than her arm. This of course included everything that I wanted my husband to get done. I would become exasperated at the mere sight of him sitting at the computer, idly enjoying his down time.

For shame! What was he thinking...that he might need to get some actual rest and relaxation in on a Saturday? I mean seriously, what right did he have to expect such a thing?

Like an angry toddler, I would share my big plans with him, hoping that he would jump up instantly and get to work.

Well I guess you could say that he showed me.

In his quiet, calm, and peaceful way, he would oh-so-kindly and politely continue his morning routine until he was ready to move on to the next thing. He never showed any frustration, just went on about his business without allowing me to perturb him.

Through the course of the day he would work, knocking off a couple or three of the 19 things I had planned for him.

And it took time, but I learned a thing or two throughout this process.

If I hadn't, I would have ended up like that girl in the Exorcist with her head spinning around madly...completely insane.

Fast-forward five years or so...we returned from our beach trip and my two little girls were planning a "family party" for the following night.

Six year old Cassidy came up with this idea while we were at the beach as a way to celebrate all of us being together at home again.

Annacie decided to bake chocolate banana bread for the occasion, and she and Cassidy made and wrapped presents for everyone in our house. Camden got caught up in the spirit of giving and wrapping as well. On top of this, they had a fun night planned that included a family dance party and lots of games.

Sounds like fun, right?

Well yes, except for the fact that our house was sure to be still in a place of messy transition from our beach trip. Did they actually expect us to stop whatever we were in the process of doing just to have fun?

Well, yes! And that's just what we did.

As I said, I've learned a few things over the years, one of the more important being that if I wait until everything is in order before I do the fun stuff...well then I'll never get to the fun stuff!

Party on!

Beach Week 2014

It feels SO good to be home, and wonderful to wake up from a great night's sleep!

Last week was our beach week. Every year we load up the van and head out to Emerald Isle for a week with extended family on my husband's side. My kids excitedly dive into a week with their cousins, enjoying the sun and sand, the aquarium, putt-putt, and more.

The ocean is my sanctuary. I love the salt, sand, water, and sunshine. I savor the sound of the waves lapping upon the shore and the songs of the seagulls and sandpipers.

We recently read a poem about the sandpiper and found pictures of it on the internet. It was sweet to hear even my 3 year old call it out by name this week when we saw it skittering along the shoreline and pecking at the ground.

The conditions at the beach were perfect this week. Due to sandbars inhibiting the formation of colossal waves, our kids were able to venture out further than they ever have.

Think not for a second that I was complacent. It took me until the end of the week to really settle in and savor the experience, but that's okay. It's just part of being a parent.

Saturday was my favorite day. I tried riding the skim board that we had gotten for Brayden and that was an adventure in itself. It was not an easy ride by any means and a wonderful reminder to me of what it is like to learn new things.

When Annacie skeptically asked me if I had fun doing that, I had to laugh.

Her difficulty grasping that I would do something JUST for the fun of it, and not for somebody else or for any anticipated end result aside from enjoying the moment...well it was enlightening.

 I improved...and let's just say that I'll try again next year.

Shawn was far more graceful in his efforts.

I enjoyed just sitting in the mud next to the water, feeling the tiniest sea creatures crawling underneath my fingers and hands, savoring in some small measure, the depth and majesty of creation.

The smallest things can bring the greatest joy. Or is that just me?

About that time, Shawn came up and set the skim board up behind me and took this picture.

Cassidy spent a lot of time drawing in the sand on Saturday. I love seeing the things my young artist comes up with.

 

Abstract figure/person

Choo Choo!

And now we're home, and ready to dive back into the daily grind.

 

And minus the chores, we wouldn't have it any other way.

Being Fearlessly You

I woke up thinking deep thoughts. It's been a while. I've been busy cleaning (just take my word for it), organizing, planning, and establishing effective routines. It seems that little room has been left to process the pieces. A lot started coming to me this morning, though. Pondering something one of my kids recently experienced served as a catalyst for this...

Most people walk out into the world each day clad with armor, prepared to defend themselves against hurt, condescension, insult...from the pain of being human. We judge in each situation, in each relationship, just how much of ourselves it is safe to reveal.

The cost of this is that little by little, our identities become warped. What we are left with are shadows, maybe even half-shadows of the people we were created to be.

As we allow others' reactions to mold us into their preferred image, we are dulled; we lose our luster.

Why do we do this?

It's a defense mechanism. As men of old used swords and spears to protect themselves from injury, we cover ourselves with layers of apathy and insincerity, a flat, watered down version of ourselves.

A descent into mediocrity.

We are a people afraid to show who we really are for fear of being burned. We're scared to care more, to love more, to share more...so we don't. Our relationships are stunted as a result.

We become numb to everything. We would rather feel nothing than to chance making ourselves vulnerable.

Like the walking dead...

Shouldn't we want more?

Let me tell YOU something. you were made to shine, to dazzle, to electrify, or maybe just to make people think.

So what if their eyes hurt because your light is brighter than what they were anticipating?

They may be surprised and a little uncomfortable at first.

Or they might become just a little more willing to express themselves authentically as a result.

Either way, you're worth it.

 

Redemption

There's nothing about you that is so dirty that God can't clean it up.

There's no darkness in you that His light cannot penetrate.

I love the word redeemed. Just ponder the definition with me for a minute.

I'm not going to look it up, but think about those tokens that you exchange for a prize after you play video games. A better example might be the ones in Vegas that you would exchange to get... your money after you win at gambling.

Now imagine taking yourself, all of who you are right now, with all of your blemishes, scars, and sinful ways...and exchanging all of that for a new creation, molded and made in the image of God.

You walk away with a new lease on life, a hope, peace, and assurance that is incomprehensible.

That's redemption. It's a lot different than the world's version where you get the equivalent of what you deserve.

What you get from God is something that you don't deserve at all, that you are incapable of earning by your own merit.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Because of His mercy, grace, and the perfect sacrifice of His Son on the cross, this can be your reality.

So you might want to stay home and open up your Bible tonight, or swing by a Lifeway store to see if you can find a book that resonates with you, that speaks to your current situation.

Your choices matter. Start making the right ones. None of us are promised tomorrow so there's no time like the present. Just do it.