Following are seven things that I've found helpful to consider when making such decisions.
1. Will the value of participating outweigh the time sacrifice that will need to be made to make it happen? I've read recently that "the cost of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it." Will you have time remaining in your schedule to be together as a family every week? Is there any downtime left for you and your child to diffuse and process the things of life?
2. Does the benefit that will be gained outweigh the cost financially for your family? We pay for our kids' piano lessons and sporting events. Yet when it comes to those things that require a greater financial investment such as dance and Taekwondo, our kids use their birthday and Christmas money to pay half. We have found that this not only eases our yearly financial burden but also encourages our children to be more thoughtful and intentional in regard to the activities they choose to participate in.
3. Is your child really interested? There are times we will find that our plans for our children do not align well with their interests and inclinations. Are you signing your child up for this because you want him to do it or because he wants to do it? If it is something that you consider important but that your child is resistant to, you will want to prayerfully consider whether or not requiring participation is a battle worth picking.
4. Is your child old enough for this activity? Will it enrich his life or will he even be able to process what's going on?
Have you ever seen kids standing around in the baseball field plucking leaves of grass or watching ants while they are supposed to be trying to catch a fly ball? Many parents mistakenly perceive this as a necessary step toward becoming an involved team player or worse, they think of their child as deficient in some way.
I totally disagree.
This kind of behavior tells me that a kid would be better off in his own yard with free reign to run, romp, and chart his own course for a while each day. For a child who needs time to diffuse, strict rules and regulations are more confining than they are beneficial. It pays to know your child well when considering these decisions.
5. Is this something that will suit your family well in this time and season? In our family, we do our best to accommodate the interests and desires of our children activity-wise but we will not allow the needs of an individual to trump the needs of our family unit.
For instance, if I had an older child wanting to participate in a time-consuming activity along with a toddler who was having difficulty adjusting to a newborn baby, we would be hesitant to commit to the activity. I would likely think that our time would be better spent in our home environment investing in family relationships than on the road for half the week.
Many would consider this an infringement on the rights of the older child. Yet I think our kids need to learn to be team players, in the field (when it applies) and in the home. They would do well to carry such values into adulthood.
6. If this isn't the best season in the life of your family for this, is it likely that the opportunity will arise again? It's a question worth asking. Most of what we consider urgent really isn't that at all.
7. Can you add this activity to your plate and that of your child and still function peacefully? Will participation fit fairly well into your schedule and be relatively easy to carry out...or do you already have so much on your "to-do list" that it might send you over the edge?
Remember, a kind, peaceful Mama is of far greater value than a stressed-out multi-tasking Mama. You know your limits. I believe it was Joyce Meyer who said (and I paraphrase), "If you can't do it with peace, then don't do it at all."
Time is a precious commodity and we all need to use it well. I hope this post has been an encouragement to you in that regard. Thanks for reading!
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