Holiday Madness

This season has been hard for me. I feel like everything in me and around me is running on fast-forward, while what my spirit longs for is to savor these precious moments with my loved ones before they're gone. It's just all happening too fast.

I'm also realizing, though, that there's little I can do to change it in this season of our lives. Our kids are getting older and their interests are so varied. Though, I'm deliberate about saying no, there are just many things that for their sake, I find myself saying yes to.

They get what they need, but I'm often left feeling depleted.

Yet, some of it's just going to be like that, right? I mean, there's nothing simple about finding balance in this world system, and December seems to make it ten times worse.

This morning, I was reminded that the only thing that stills me is to sit at the Lord's feet. I dragged myself out of bed at 4 with every intention of getting stuff done; yet, I had no greater need than to rest in Him. 

So I did.

I was reminded in those moments that He is the remedy to it all. There is no solution apart from Him. And in Him, I can find joy in all of these things that threaten to pull me apart at the seams. 

It makes me think of a response that Martin Luther once gave when asked about his plans for the following day. "Work, work, from early until late. In fact, I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer."

Though it sounds like he was jesting, I'm sure that he wasn't. I've been there, done that, and I know that it's where I need to be. 

He, only, is the place where any of us will truly find peace.

How I Cut My Kids' Toy Supply By Half in Just One Day!

My sons share a bedroom, and with an age difference of eight years, this has its challenges. Lately, my 11 year old has become increasingly frustrated by his mess-making little brother. My 3 year old is learning to clean up but his efforts as you would guess, are quite inconsistent.

I've been down-sizing for a while; yet my greatest opposition to doing this has come from my younger son who never wants to get rid of anything.

After another frustrating discussion about this with my older son this morning, I formulated a plan, and got started.

First we took all, and yes I mean ALL, of their toys out of their room and into the space between our kitchen and dining area. I unpacked boxes and sorted the toys by type.

Next my younger son was given $10 of Monopoly money and told that he could buy ten toys from the "toy store." His sisters set up a cashier's station and he began to choose his "purchases."

I never would have anticipated this going as smoothly as it did. He chose monster trucks first; my rule was that if he chose a group of items like that that he could get ten of them for $1. He counted them out in a very civilized manner, the girls bagged them up, and he continued with his purchases.

After he had chosen his tenth item, he got to the end and realized that he had overlooked something that he wanted to keep. Instead of getting upset about it, he just put back one of his items and made a trade. I must admit that I was super impressed that he was so cooperative about the whole thing!

Shortly after, my older son came home from Taekwondo and chose his items. He remarked that when the stuff was in his room, he had thought he had wanted all of it. Yet seeing it in a different place somehow made him think differently. He actually chose only nine items.

The big bonuses of the day for me were that the two items that took up the most space in the boys' bedroom, the train table and tool bench were not chosen. Having four kids and too much stuff has taught me to love clear, tidy spaces!

Of course I am now left with handling the items that they didn't choose. I trashed the things that I thought were useless, put a few things upstairs for my kids' kids, and a yard selling friend is coming by on Thursday to pick up the rest.

I attribute our grand success to my method of making it fun for my little one, AND taking all of the stuff completely out of their room before going through it.

Of course it seems like a lot of trouble but if you have never tried it, you will be amazed to see how much more stuff you will be willing to part with using this method than you would have otherwise!

I do hope this post is an encouragement to you. If you have any tips that have helped you in this area, or find that you are able to apply this method successfully in your own home, please share! Thanks for reading!

What Your Screen-Addicted Kids are Missing Out On

Many children today, toddler on up, are screen-obsessed little tyrants. Whenever there's free time, they either want to watch TV or play video games. Little do they know, and little do their parents know that if they would establish proper limits in these areas how much better their lives would be.

Many parents are tired and overextended. It's understandable that the last thing they want to do is put forth the effort required to set up a proper environment and engage with their children, because they too are screen addicts.

We all struggle with this to some degree. There were no preparedness courses for living in this new cyber-ruled world. Yet now that we've all had some time to recover from the jolt, it is in our best interests to determine proper limits so that we can maintain connected real-life relationships, and good old-fashioned quality of life.

If you are a parent reading this, I hope it prompts you to consider my list of things your children COULD be doing if their eyes were not glued to an electronic device the majority of their living, breathing moments.

They could be...

-Gaining social skills- Our children need to learn how to communicate with and interact effectively with actual people. No matter how positive the content of your chosen programming, social skills are learned through direct time spent with other people, not electronic devices.

-Gaining academic skills- Many parents console themselves with the fact that most of what their children are watching is educational. Yet, the truth is that people of all ages learn more effectively by doing than by watching others. Watching others on TV or in real life can be a great catalyst for hands-on activities and application; yet for learning to be most efficient, time needs to be spent more on doing and less on viewing.

-Making decisions/ Directing their own play- Parents despise hearing the words "I'm bored." The reason they hear it so often is that children's time is being micromanaged all day long. Whether in daycare or in school, they have little choice of activity, and then when they come home, parents allow them to immerse themselves in electronic devices, further promoting kids' inability to direct their own activities.

For children to overcome their tendency to boredom, parents need to let them actually get bored and expect them to figure out (on their own) what they want to do next.

If they are not given regular opportunities to direct their activities as children, what kind of adults can we expect them to become?

-Learning conflict negotiation- I know parents who stick their kids in front of a TV in order to keep them from hurting each other.

When our kids or they and their friends are not getting along well, it is our responsibility to support and encourage them to effectively resolve their conflicts.  Drowning out these issues with TV and video games is extremely detrimental to this process.

If we ignore their needs now, it is quite possible that they will struggle with these things in relationships throughout their lives.

-Playing outside- Most kids (and adults too) are sedentary throughout the majority of each day. The more time spent inside watching TV and playing video games, the fatter and lazier we become. Increased depression is another side effect of excessive time indoors.

Our kids need to exercise and breathe fresh air. They learn coordination and balance through climbing rocks and maneuvering natural obstacles. It makes them healthier, mentally as well as physically. No electronic device can ever take the place of that.

-Living a normal life- Remember that? Remember the days when there weren't millions of electronic options at your disposal at any given second? Remember when your "go to" place wasn't a website but rather an actual living, breathing person, a book, or a lawn chair on a starry night?

Shouldn't we want our children to have some of "the old kind of normal?"

Like most things in life, it is important that we find a balance between our electronic consumption and real-life experiences. As a mom of four home-schooled kids, I can tell you that it's doable and probably not as hard as you would think.

For your sake and that of your family, I encourage you to take on the challenge.

In Whose Strength?

"And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice saying, Eli, Eli, lama saachthani? That is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46)

I have a Christian friend who is raising a child who was born severely disabled. He has had numerous surgeries already in his short life, and has needs that are challenging to meet on a daily basis.

For a time, my friend struggled with depression. She had "been strong" for a long time, held it together well on the outside, while on the inside she was falling apart.

During this time she realized the importance of acknowledging that she is human, that she doesn't have it all together, and that it is futile, even detrimental, to try to conceal her weaknesses and struggles.

I think there are many people who struggle in this same area, who are afraid that if they express their fears, bare their scars, or acknowledge the anguish in their spirits, that their Christian testimonies will be hurt.

They build up walls of brick around their hearts in effort to hide the tumult that is going on within. Yet that is not what the world needs to see...or who.

People need to see that we are real, and that we hurt, suffer, and even question...just like everyone else.

Yet the similarities end there.

As we set our eyes upon the cross, choosing to view things from an eternal perspective rather than a simple, earthly one, then they will see Him.

As we keep trusting that our battles have already been won, and that things will ultimately turn out for our best, and for the good of others in our circles of influence, then they will see Him.

As we seek meaning and purpose in the heart wrenching situations that we are handed, setting our eyes upon Him in the midst of it all, then they will see Him.

Paul's words in a time of suffering demonstrate this truth better than anything else.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Rest in Him, my friends.

Dealing With Anger

It is just human nature to retaliate or respond in anger when we feel that we have been wronged. This response is so naturally ingrained that it happens reflexively, like when the hammer hits that perfect point on your knee in the doctor's office.

Yet as is true in most areas, what the Lord asks of us is in complete opposition to our natural, fleshly inclinations.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:9)

I've been reading about King David's reign in II Samuel. Yesterday I read about the time when his son, Absalom had strategically turned much of Israel against his father in his pursuit of overtaking the kingdom.

As I read about David taking his trusted men and fleeing, I got so irritated as I wondered why he didn't stand his ground and fight like a man.

As I've experienced many times, through further reading I was able to find the answer. As David and his men got to a stopping point in the wilderness, he spoke these words to Zadok...

"Take back the ark of God to the city. If I find favor in the Lord's eyes, He will bring me back and let me see both it and His house. But if He says, I have no delight in you, then here I am; let Him do to me what seems good to Him." (II Samuel 15:25-26)

David recognized that he was not entitled to the kingship in the first place, that it had been a gift bestowed upon him by God, and that He who had gifted him with it had just as much the right to take it away.

His greatest desire was not for worldly position, but to be wherever God wanted him to be. Maybe this, I thought, is why David is often called "a man after God's own heart."

So I have to ask myself...what do I desire more, God's will for my life or my own?

When someone tramples on your heart, can you remember that God in His sovereignty has allowed it, and can use it for your good if you will let Him?

Our greatest desire in these difficult situations should be to respond in accordance with His will.

Choosing to ignore your inner fleshly voice long enough to seek Him for direction can be an uncomfortable and sometimes even, a painful process.

Yet it is one that is well worth the trouble.

"Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and He shall life you up." (James 4:10)

There's no worldly position in existence that can trump that.

Be Still

Our world is a confused, chaotic mess. The faster the pace of living becomes, the less apt people are to take time to slow down, process, and adjust their priorities and decisions accordingly.

I am amazed at what a difference sitting still before the Lord makes in my life. Things that were blurry in my mind and heart become sharp and clear. As I surrender my fears and anxiety to Him, sifting them through the truth in His Word, He gives me peace, direction, and confidence.

Through prayer, I reaffirm this truth...

"We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." ~Romans 8:28

If you keep your eyes on Him, seeking His wisdom, allowing Him to direct your paths, this will be your reality.

If not, you will falter.

Obviously things in this life will never be perfect either way, but His ways are best. When you begin to view things through an eternal perspective rather than a worldly one, then you are able to see things with clarity.

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint." ~Isaiah 40:30,31

So before the busyness and requirements of your day take command, I encourage you to slow down, sit quietly, and look up.

There is nothing more pivotal to your daily peace and success in life than that.

Veggie Scrap Math

I am a firm believer that learning occurs best when it is woven within the fabric of everyday life.

Labor Day Monday was our quarterly Crock Pot Cooking Day.

Our two youngest children joined us at the table as we were chopping veggies. I saw an opportunity in this and grabbed hold of it.

I gave each of them a piece of foil and a variety of vegetable scraps. I also gave my six-year-old a box of toothpicks.

I gave them a short list of activity ideas and then let them go at it. No more suggestions were needed.

My daughter made a playground and then started making veggie people. This open-ended activity really appealed to her creative personality.

 My three-year-old's interests were more varied.

First he borrowed Cassidy's playground idea and went with that.

Then he made a pattern with his carrot and zucchini ends. Truthfully, I didn't know that he knew what a pattern was so I was very impressed.

Next he sorted them by type.

Then I asked him which veggie there was the most of, the least of, how many there were of each, and how many there were in all.

He understood all of my questions, and aside from needing my help going from 15 to 16 as he was counting them, he gave accurate responses to them all.

I have never spent time with him working on anything academic beyond reading books to him. His Daddy counts with him a lot when he reads to him at bedtime and he has picked up so much just from being around his brothers and sisters all day.

It never ceases to amaze me how many math concepts can be taught in a concentrated amount of time with one set of the right manipulatives or every day items.

It is also encouraging to be reminded that when I equip my children with open-ended materials, creativity abounds!

Their creative products are authentic expressions of themselves.

Being able to be here with them as they learn and discover is the thing about it that I treasure most of all!